Copyright 1998 All rights reserved by the respective authors.

Linking to :
Spring link (#3)

two brothers
blowing soap bubbles
at the veranda 
                        Fumiko


Fay's candidates sent to Mr. Fukuda:
Fay's Link Candidate Mr. Fukuda's Comments
A
haru no yasai wo jabujabu arau
(spring vegetable/splashing water/I wash)

                splashing water
                I wash spring vegetables
in hokku, I used onamatopoeic word ("to-to"), so, you should not use "jabu-jabu" (splashing water) which is onamatopoeic. You can use it in the second half, if you would like. Also, the word "spring" should be hold for later use. Especially in the last 6 links, if We have not use the word like "spring," it becomes very handy.
B
otemae yo no kashi no ume-iro
(for tea ceremony/sweets/in the color of plum (blossom)

                sweets for tea ceremony
                in the color of plum blossoms
In English you use "blossom" in flower link, right? You should keep "blossom" for flower link. (FOLKS! this is very important comment, I believe. We can use the name of flowers like tulip, but no "blossom" except cherry blossom! Fay)
C
uraraka na gogo piano chouritsu
(beautiful, warm/afternoon/piano/I tune)

        warm beautiful afternoon
        I tune the piano
I use the sound of ocean in hokku. No Piano! I like D and E. Except that you used the word "spring," E is very beautiful.
D
tsukushi ae moru sara no dai-sho
(horsetail shoots/marinated/served/in dishes/big and small)

        I served marinated horsetail shoots
        on unmatching plates
E
kagami no mae de hiraku haru-gasa
(mirror/in front of/I open/a spring parasol)

        in front of the mirror
        I open a spring parasol