Copyright 1998 All rights reserved by the respective authors.

Linking to :
New Years hokku

I serve marinated horsetail shoots
on unmatching plates 
                        Fay

Suggestions Possible kigo
Spring moon
After me, Mr. Fukuda is supposed to write a link, however, he wants you guys to write #5. It is a spring moon!!!!! "Horsetail shooting" is mid-spring kigo, therefore, no early spring kigo, such as.... "cat in love." Early spring in saijiki is from Feb. 4 to March 6. No plants, no "spring," no sound-related word (including musical instrument), no child! According to my past experience, he will reject occupation-related word such as "teacher," or family-related word such as "mother," because of Fumiko's "brothers." "We" and "I" will be OK, I believe.


Possibilities sent to Mr. Fukuda:
Author Candidate Mr. Fukuda's Comments
Lynne glimpsed in soft light
its face looks young
spring moon
A:
It is very interesting to introduce personified moon! Very light, heart-warming link!
so still
the shell of the tortoise glows
spring moon
B:
Introducing an animal (tortoise) is clever! Good job! However, hokku is about the ocean. I see tortoise near the pond. A bit close.
Ebba a warm breeze
we walk through moonbeams
on the way home
C:
Think about the mood when you link. Too sad...
rinsing ink
from th calligraphy brush--
pale mid-March moon
D:
Pale moon is very good! Does this person draws sumi-e after eating horsetail shoots?
Patricia misty moon: holding
our breath we wait while the guard
looks at our passports
E:
Thrilling and a very good link; however, it is not appropriate in the omote (first 6). A moon link in the omote whould be calmer. Perfect if we were in the back! (This one is..... Fay's choice!)
night of the spring moon--
circle of long-time friends seen
through jacuzzi steam
F:
Brother in two links before. Human-related word (friend) should be avoided here.
Alice we arrive in time
to admire the rising moon
half-hidden in mist
G:
You cannot go backwards in renku. 'We' arrived after "I" in previous link prepared horstail shoots? If this were a link before #4, there would be no a problem.
a long day's end
behind the deep blue hill
the glow of moonrise
H:
Image of deep blue hill is very beautiful.
Alex from the bridge we watch
through the hazy dusk
a full moon
I:
Hokku is about the ocean. Bridge (water-related word) is not appropriate here.
through haze
the moon rises
into an eclipse
J:
Eclipse is a bit too sad for the first six.
My choice was either A or B; however, I saw a pond from the word tortoise. It is water image and hokku is about the ocean. So... I chose A.

I am very happy to see kigo such as 'warm,' 'mist' 'hazy,' after I told no 'spring.' You should think when you should use the word like 'spring,' 'summer,' etc.

Shinku Fukuda
2/3/98
He thinks my translation is getting better and I was told I should write the next link (a short no season link #6). Later, partners! And thanks for participation!!!!!!!

Fay