Suggestions Possible kigo
Love

Tip for next love link #9: I want you to write one more love link for #4 in the ura. Basho was the master of love links. A renku without strong love links is failure. I would like to see American poets' power for love links!! Looking forward a dramatic love link. Please develop the story of these two lovers!

Shinku Fukuda

Fay's tip: Because Alice and Patricia's links are han (self+other), we cannot do 'our' love. We can go back to their/his/her (ta - other), I believe.

#10
A:      the gift, a small vase...
        perfect after last night                Alex
(In Japan, this type of a link is called *ato-ginu* (after silk).  Nine
lingering image, but a bit too quiet.

B:      finding a perfect rhythm
        in and out of their breath              Lynne
(Two people are in their heavenly world... Peacefullness after
passion...!?)

C:      the peak of joyous rapture--
        then her hair comes tumbling down       Lynne
(*tumbling down* describes joyous passiona dn develops the previous love
link nicely.  In Japan, there is a statue of male and femal gods in
their joyous rapture.)

D:      stopped at a scenic overlook
        for another long kiss                                   Alice
(describing what happened a day after, not too closely)

E:      she says she always sleeps
        as if he were watching                          Alice
(describing happiness and lingering mood after her lover left.  Men
cannot write this kind of womanly link.)

F:      beni hiki-naosu hizakari no heya                Fay
        (afternoon sunshine fills the room/where I re-apply red rouge)
(Vivid color of red and love affair in the afternoon.  Dangerous love...
Good link)

G:      mofuku no botan hazusu mijika-ya                Fay
        (shortening night/I unbutton my widow´s dress)
(A widow´s love affair after the funeral...  Where did you get this
idea?  Reminded me the movie I saw somtime ago)

H:      dousoukai to itsuwatte deru                     Fay
        ("I´ll go to a re-union"/my lie to  leave the house)
(Moving backward, I am afraid)

I decided to select Lynne´s C (joyous rapture) though Fay´s G (widow´s
dress) is a strong link, too.  I selected two of Fay´s already and I
liked Madam Lynne´s passionate, emotional love link!!!

                                                    Shinku Fukuda