The next one is an autumn 2 liners. We need "people." The deadline is 4/15 (wed). I would like to send out the possibilities on 4/16. Thank you for cooperation.
#14 of 36 (#8 of the ura) as usual, Mr. F's comments are in parenthesis. A: she opened the small cage and let the cricket go free Alex (Fumiko used gold fish. Cricket is not appropriate here) B: reaching one last inch he plucked an apple for himself Alex (Three verses after this, we will have a flower (cherry blossom) link. plant-related word, including apple, is not appropriate. In renku, you have to consider not only what was written before, but also what will come later.) C: in a dimly lit church prayers and incense on All Soul's Day Patricia (I selected this but changed a bit. After the moon-rise, 'dimly lit' seemes to be backward - timewise - for me. Fay, could you ask Patricia to change her original English?) to Patricia: Mr. F changed your link as follows: banseito-setsu inoru kyoukai All Soul's Day prayers at the church Send me your edited version to me and everyone... thanks (Fay) D: two witches and a goblin hurry past the darkened house! Patricia (I like this, too! but I liked C better...) I like this best!!!!!!!!!!!! Fay E: school begins and mothers sew name tags on new uniforms Lynne (no topic of clothes before. Very clever. However, after Alice's barricades, this is a bit too quiet. School begins in April in Japan. It startes in September in the U.S? OK... I am happy to learn different culture through renku. Mutual understanding is the first step toward the world's peace!) F: girls still in this dresses. . . lingering summer heat Lynne (Good eye! New topic - clothes! Image of lingering heat and dress is very beautiful. but... a bit too quiet here. Keep this and submit again somewhere later!!!) G: iro naki kaze ni hanki hatameku Fay in the colorless wind a flag at half-mast flutters (Iro Naki Kaze (colorless wind) is a kigo representing Japanese culture. Yuki Teikei should invent its own kigo and promote them. New culture will be born in California! Regarding Fay's G, good deployment from the previous link, but two before we dealt War. Yours tend to return to the image of the war. That means no shift. Third link must shift. In renku, when a verse MUST shift from the link two before.) H: hitotsume kozou haka arai ori Fay one-eyed demon washing a tomb stone (Again... tombstone is not good because War in my link. Shift from two before is the golden rule of renku. Do not forget!!!)